[["..."|passage2]]Inside of you, something bursts, it is jagged, it is numb, you center around its outlines
[["..."||passage3]]image of patterns thing here
You jitter, you shake, you have no choice. Around you, your environment feels like it is rushing past you. You feel thousands of tiny stings on your contours.
Inside you, it grows, thristing for perserverence
(insert image of fire and wings)
It is very hot.
It is not a sensation which you have felt before.
Beneath you the ground crackles. It seems as though you have Manifested.
[["(S)..."|passage5]](animatic -- low droning sound, the sound of a heartbeat, the sound of boiling water, the sound of electricity. visual -- posterised timelapse of clouds, electric crackles, the fire from a stove, an explosion, the texture of dust and daylight, a brief flash of the neighborhood, the buildings rushing around you, flashing lights)
That is no longer in question
You even have eyes.
It hurts, it is bleeding, it has no choice too, it is not yet protected, inside you it stings as if someone cut it open and it can no longer close.
In addition you feel as though there is a great amount of pressure forcing you down.
You Reel, you do it instictively, it is the thing to do in these situations. Below you the ground chitters, it is not stable, it is not sound.
Moving would not be the best idea.
What do you do now?
[["try to focus your vision"|passage7]]
[["try to feel the ground beneath you"|passage8]]
[["cease"|passage9]](image -- the neighborhood, unfocused, upside down)
[["continue to see"|p7.2]]Your sensory organs are not yet equipped to fully process the groundYou Cease.
You are still unformed, after all. But there is still a new being. That cogitohazard takes your placce
[["..."|passage6]](image - gif, flashing posturised lights)
[["..."|p7.3]](image -- neighborhood, somewhat unfocused, not upside down)
You can still feel yourself coagulating, spilling parts on the ground, your insides festering, the thousands of particles in you swell their whirlwinds. It hurts. You are still shaking.
[["Try to move your eye"|p9]]
(image gif -- Aysha's outline moves above)
Something flies above you, you can not make it out. It continues circling you. You are still unable to move. It approaches.
[["..."|p9.1]](image -- blackness)
As it's form swoops nearer, your eye gets nocked over, sending unpleasent crackles all through out your already strained body. You feel your insides churn as you are unable to process the stream of vision the eyes are providing.
(image -- Aysha's claws? nubs?)
Your eyes are placed back. Roughly where they where before.
Whatever being did this to you had the grace to try to undo the harm.
You still feel your eyes bleed various fluids. The area adjacent to your eye feels as though it has just been stretched inside out.
[["..."|p9.2]](image -- Aysha, moving its clutchers around in apology)
Your vision includes a rather strange creature that seems to be moving its limbs at what you think is you.
What do you do.
[["wave back at it"|p10.0]]
[["Try to make a noise to scare it off"|p10.2]]
[["Reel in fear"|p10.1]]
[["Try to cease existing"|passage9]]
Your entire body moves, like a violent shaking.
You have yet to learn how to move the seperate parts of your body -- that is if you even have seperate parts.
The creature once again approaches you, shaking its head as it does so
[[roll your eye|p10]]
[["lay as still as you can -- it can't see you like that, can it"|p10.0.1]]
[["Reel in fear"|p10.1]]
It circles one of it's limbs around it's head as it's 5 eyes blink
[[p11]]You roll your eye.
It does nothing in respone.
You roll your eyes even more.
It's head jitters in the other direction.
[[p11]]It encroaches even more on your field of vision. It looks dissapointed.
[[p11]]You have as of yet no mouth, you do have teeth tho. The teeeth are currently cutting up your insides. That last fact makes you happy for some reason
Suddenly, you hear a thousand tiny crackles, spreading from seemingly everywhere.
There is a sharp pain from several points close to your singular eye. Like giant holes puncturing your body.
You are aware you can hear now. A loud noise. Air brushing past you. The chittering of mandables
[["You look and move towards the creature again"||p12]](image, zoomed in sprite of Aysha)
It speaks it's insectoid chitter. An Alien Sound.
"If Well Spoken". It chitters.
It's mandables? curl up into what you think might be a smile.
"I Am Glad We Can At Least Communicate. Even If It Is A Little... One Sided."
You try once again to find a place in you that can speak or even make a sound. No Luck.
"They Will Grow In Time"
"Be Not Afraid"
How would it know that. You have only barely manifested. What could it possibly know about your future.
"My Dear This Has Happened A Few Times Before"
"Even Happened To Me"
It chitters out a sigh, turns it's eyes away for a moment before returning.
"And Whilst Each Time Is Different"
"There Are Certain Shall We Say Constants That I Presume Will Take Place Here As Well"
[["Where are we"|p12.1]]
[["How can you read my mind?"|p12.2]]
[["Wh-What are you?"|p12.3]]
[["Digging the torn outfit look"|p12.4]]
[["Get away from me"|p12.5]]
<div class="replacement" style="display: inline; visibility: visible;">Because I knew they'd say I'd been asking for it.<br><br><a class="internalLink replaceLink">Like I somehow deserved what happened to me.</a><div class="replacement" style="display: none;">Like I somehow deserved what happened to me.
<<replace "I knew what they'd call me when I left.">>I knew what they'd call me when I left.
<<replace "They'd call me everything that had been done to me.">>They'd call me everything that had been done to me.<<timedgoto "angelfucked" 5s>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>></div></div>(bg image of the neighborhood)
"It Looks As Though It Is Some Kind Of Neighboor Hood Of An Ubran Town"
(image of park seat zapping in and out of existence)
"But This Place Is Unstable. As Are All Places Here"
"Yesss Well This Liminal Space Which We All Inhabit"
[[x|p12.1.2]]"Oh Most Here Can"
"To Some Extent"
"Especially When They Are Being As Loud As You Are"
Something in you pulsates. You writhe again. The form which you are taking is still processing it's slimy-existence.
Your eye flitters.
"In Due Time You Will Stabalise More Probably"
"And Will Too Be Able To Read The Others"
"When They Show Themselves"
[["who are these others?"|p13]](pic)
It uses two of it's limbs to scratch it's head.
"I Am Aysha"
"I Am As You Are"
"An Entity of This Space"
"If You Where Referring To My Appearance To You Might I Suggest Looking At Yourself"
"Or Inquire As To What Else You Had In Mind"
[["..."|p13]]The Creature's mandibles curl up.
"Thank You I Ruined It Myself"
"Ruining Clothes Is One Of My Favoured Activites"
"As Is Chewing Yarn"
"Or Weaving Shapes Although I Do Not Have The Ability To Weave Much"
"With Time Perhaps"
[["..."|p13]]The creature takes a few steps back.
"Did I Offend You In Some Way?"
[["Leave me alone"||p12.5.1]]
[["What kinda freak are you"|p12.5.2]]
[["try to run away"|p12.5.3]]
Double-click this passage to edit it.Inside you something explodes. You can feel it rise outwards, it needs to find an exit. You feel a hole being borroughed through your skin, veing and muscle, a hole which weaves bones and marrow.
With a punch, fluid starts leaking from the newly created orofice jutting out below your eye, covering your body in blood, slime and spittle. The young teeth you could feel inside of you are moving themselves toward the hole.
Invollentarily you let out an illegible scream as the pain reaches its fever pitch. You are still being born.
The Creature you had been talking to takes a few steps back out of caution.
The playground around you shifts -- destabalised before restabalising -- except its different now you are somewhere else.
[[your form flops sideways on the empty road|p14]]It blinks and holds its limbs close to itself
"They Do Not Always Stabalise"
oh, is that bad?
"Depends on your Definition"
nothing comes to you, as there is still little to be defined.
"Some Like It Though"
[["..."|p13]]Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.(img)
You are still incapable of clear speech, whenever you try to move your mouth, only vague screachings and heaves of breath leave your mouth. Your unstable skin is shedding and festering as globules of blood spread on the road.
You are barely able to see the creature you are with. Only able to make out it's lower body and torn dress.
"qAsjWFJeikf" You say.
You writhe, try to move yourself back into your previous position but only succeed in flopping further on the road.
"Let Me Help You"
It puts you back on the sidewalk. Making sure you where in the position, roughly analagous to the one you where in previously, you can feel one of your legs sticking out in a direction it's not supposed to. You can feel the air bite at your wounds. You can feel it's harsh touch.
It's mandables move hurriedly.
"I Do Hope You Heal Soon"
"The Initial Phase Comes With Great Difficulty"
You spit out some black oily substance as your forked tongue moves up and down, trying to find a place for itself.
[["Something in you hungers"|p15]]"sustinanccccccccccccceeeeeeeee" you hear yourself roar in a low tone.
You look at the creature. For a moment it cowers, it shakes, surprised by your tone and surprised by your thoughts.
You regard it. Your eye up and down.
"I I See"
"Yes You Will Need Blood"
"Dear It Is The Only Form Of Food Around"
"I Will Give You Mine For Now"
wait does that, Are we vampires?
"As Far As I Know I Am The Only Purely Vampiric Entity"
You take it's crimson nectar and let it spread through your veins. Slowly you start to feel the vitality. Objects regain colour and vision clears.
"It Is Just That Blood Is The Only Fluid Around Here"
"The Water Is Static So If You Jump Into It It Would Be Like Jumping Onto This Very Pavement."
[["well jumping into water w-would be like jumping into a brick wall anyways but i get your point"|p15.2]]
[["i don't think i'd w-want to drink blood"|p15.3]]
"s-so there's really only blood to feed off here?"
"It Seems So"
"oh" your eye motions downard. This saddnes you
"Luckily Not Much Sustinance Is Needed Here After The Initial Phase"
Having now stabilised, you inspect this location. Your vision has still not entirely adjusted but you gather you have arrived at some kind of street corner, around yoou are old ornamental streetlights and park benches. You wonder why you've been summoned to this place exactly.
"Interesting I Was Not Aware Of That" It chittered, holding it's claw close itself.
"What Was Meant To Be Said Then Was Fluids Here Do Not Act As Fluid And Would Be As Hard As Brick To Thaw Out Or Eat"
"When Rain Falls As It Occasionally Does One Of Us Has To Sweep It Away To The Canal Or River"
"It Is Quite Tiresome And None Of Us Fully Understand It"
"As You Say" It nods.
It blinked it's eyes asynchronously
"You Have No Choice"
"If You Do Not Drink You Will Remain Broken"
"Not Cease. Just Remain."
"Oh" you reeeled back.
[["How can I cease then?"|p15.3.1]](img)
You try to move one of the bits of your body, without the rest following it and to your surprise... you can! You have control. Limited, numb, slow, painful movement. But movement nontheless!
You turn what you think is your head towards the creature. You try to move your left arm. It flails unnaturally, you think you might have twisted it the wrong way, there are some cracking noises.
Regardless it seems impressed. "My My You Can Move Now"
"s-so it seems" you say, looking at the small, crooked thing protruding form your for arms.
"You Are Among The More Humanoid Ones Here"
"Though None Of Us Fully Are Luckily"
"why luckily?" Mucus still leaves your mouth everytime you open it. It's okay though, you're getting used to it.
[["Oh god where do i even 5star7"|p17]]
It lets out a chittery sigh before starting.
“You Can Try To Disappear But”
“That Will Not Happen”
“You Have Formed Already You Have Shape”
“Another You Will Take Place”
“And Sometime In The Future You Will Subsede”
“Only To Resurface Months Years Down The Line”
“That Is How It Works For All Of Us Here”
“You Can Change"
"You Will Regardless Of What You Do”
You blink. Look at the grey overcast sky, try to watch the moving clouds. Like the clouds there is no stopping this, huh.
It moves closer to you and rubs one of it's forearms against your body. "No"
"Pretending Not To Exist Will Not Do Much"
"I Have Tried"
You look at it, you don't even know it's name yet. That was perhaps rude but... You can see that it's sad.
"We Are Here"
"For Each Other At Least"
"Oh god where do i even 5star7" A voice said, coming from behind, it was a hard voice, like metal tearing against metal and making sparks.
You turned your head around 180 degrees.
The voice came from a tall looking person with a giant pulsating hole where you thought their eyes and nose ought to be. They are wearing what looks like overalls but its somewhat hard to make out from the pulsating skin and oily hair-like substance. It is hard to get a picture of this entity in your mind.
"Oh Hello Rayna" The creature behind you waves its forearm at the new visitor. "How Are You Finding Yourself"
Rayna growled and spat in it's direction -- which was also your direction.
"5omewha7 miffed 7tha7 you're keeping 7he new addi7ion 7o yourself 5o far, Aysha."
Aysha giggled, it was a chittering sound you found strange but also warm and comforting. "Would Not Want "
Aysha turned it's head towards you "Actually What Are Your Name And Pronouns?"
[["need to think about that for a second hold on"|p18]]
(img Aysha and Rayna)
Name... You look up, it is Day. That seems fine.
"Day, i guess. idk what pronouns are... i guess like myself in the third person... hmm... fae's all that comes to my mind."
Aysha turns back to Rayna, "As Was Being Said I Would Not Want To Alienate Faer And Felt Like Having Multiple Of Us There At The Same Time Would Be Overwhelming For Her"
"Do You Remember What Happened When You Manifested"
Rayna let out a long, rasping sigh, which came through as a cutting sensation in your ear. "YE5... You Don7 have 7o remind me. Tsk..." they clear their throat. "I 5uppo5e I'll introduce my5elf. I'm Rayna. I know your 7ime here ha5 been 5hor7, bu7 I hope 7ha7 I can be of help wi7h 7hese fir57 argueou5 day5. A7 lea57 if you aren7 annoying like Ay5ha." They crossed their long arms.
"Th-Thank you?" You aren't entirely sure what to thank them for but it came into your thoughts as the appropriate thing to say.
You could feel the air around you shift again. This tumultous place was once more taking on a different shape.
Rayna nodded and began their rasping once more, "Ay5a, you know where J-Lia i5. 7ell me. 5he's been avoiding me and I wan7 her 7o 7elll me why."
Aysha looked around the shifting cityspace as if trying to find an object to change topic of conversation.
"Ay5sha!" They yelled, some of the pulsating liquid was spat out and started creating holes in the fragile twisting ground.
"I Should Not Say I Agreed Not To" Aysha was getting it's wings ready to fly way if need be.
The location was stabilising or rather it had stabalised for a moment but now felt like it could zap to shreds as any second.
It looked as if you where on the grounds of a private school. A newer one too judging from the brutalist architecture. You wondered what significance this place held to Rayna for it to be the place they summoned you too.
There where some trees on the schoolground, they looked blackened like they had just suffered from a fire. The flowers too seemed burnt.
Aysha's chittering was growing more and more irregular. She didn't want to deal with this.(text-colour:navy)[ Regardless breaking an agreement with J-Lia isn't something she could feel good for doing.]
"Alrigh7. I'll wai7 7hen. 5he'll 5how up even7ually." Smoke was coming from the eye/nose hole. (text-colour:navy)[The new arrival was probably more important for now.]
You felt the pain in your legs numb. You where surprised by your sudden rise in intuition with regards to others. "I-I think I just heard both of your thoughts."
"Ooohhh Exciting" Aysha clapped it's forelimbs, closed it's eyes and smiled at you.
"57range, 7ha75 a li77le 'a lo7 5ooner 7hen wha7 i5 expec7ed." It nodded at you slowly, with the air of suspision, long arms folded.
(text-colour:navy)[You where getting pretty tired of these. Or Maybe not tired. But you wanted to be away for a while and whilst their doting and prodding could be nice. You wanted -- needed rest.]
What do you do?
[[Run away as fast as you can|19.1]]
[[try to transport yourself to somewhere else|19.2]]
[[try to bid your goodbyes|19.3]]
[[actually it's fine.|19.4]](text-colour:navy)[Exciting]
You run. You still havent gained full control over your legs so it was more an initial stride forward and then a stumble. No matter. You get up and start to run once more -- (text-colour:navy)[but you don't.
No, instead what happens is that you fall. Into total darkness. Not unlike what happened when you came here in the first instance. You don't know where you are. You flail your body around. You imagine that your clawing around ineffectively would look arther amusing to onlookers. You try to move back up. Try to jump. Instead that just makes your posture more unstable and strained. Making you feel as though you are falling faster and faster.
There is no sound except for your thoughts. No Air. No yelling. No Nothing.
[[...|p19.1.1]](text-colour:navy)[You transport yourself to elsewhere -- particularly nowhere. The same nowhere you where when you came into being. You feel strained. You can still feel yourself move, but it is movement robbed of grounding. You can't feel where you are. You feel yourself twisting your arms backwards and breaking them doing so, producing an ear-splitting crack that breaks up the complete absense of any sound.
You scream but no sound leaves your mouth. Not even the mucus. It is as though your head has been stuffed in some sort of container.]
You have no idea what to do. Is there anything to do. (text-colour:navy)[except accept your fate]
[["..."|p19.1.1]](text-colour:navy)[Welp. This has been ENTIRELY too much, hasn't it. Perhaps it is better if you bid adieu.]
You breathe in through your numerous mouth holes "I... think I want to be alone for a while. Or just somewhere where it isn't so... relentlessly busy."
"Afraid 7ha7'5 nowhere here. Mo57 place5 are in 5ome proximi7y of loudne55. I ge7 your de5ire bu7... well bo7h of u5 here are afraid 7ha7 if you don7 you won'7 learn how 7o."
"It Is As They Say" it chitters, hesitantly. (text-colour:navy)[You think this is a topic she'd rather have breached on her own terms then being forced into it just now.] "Some Of Us Here Never Learned To Talk Properly To The Others"
It looks down. "They Are Scary And Themselves Often Scared I Wanted To Avoid That With You"
(text-colour:navy)[But.. you would still want to, wouldn't you? Just a little bit of alone time... that could be so nice.]
Aysha and Rayna's eyes widen as you are pulled into a sudden blackness.
Double-click this passage to edit it.(text-colour:navy)[Actually, you think, this is fine. These people are fine. They are the only people you know after all, so perhaps you SHOULD try to be with them. Even if sometimes it might be inconvenient. This is where you should stay]
"5o what did you hear, if you don7 mind me a5king?" They clunked.
"W-well.. From Aysha I heard that she was thinking that breaking an agreement with J-Lia would be bad and rayna, you thought that it would be more important to talk to me then settle your squabble."
"T55k. 5ho5e are obviou5 7hing5!" They gestured wildly with their arms. Before sighing, letting out more condensed air. "57ill. 7ha75 impre55ive."
"Yes I Am Excited For You"
(text-colour:navy)[As are you. What other newfound abilities will you gain? Or is it just this? Is this the end of the initial phase?]
Rayna begins to prod "Wha7 el5e do you know?!" Moving their long legs closer with big steps that land too heavy for the body they're attached too.
They grunted. "of cou5e no7. 5shouldn7 have go77en exci7ed. 5ee we 7oo 57ill have many que57ion5 abou7 7hi5 place. 5ome7ime5 one of u5 5aw or heard 5ome7hing we didn7 know. i75 impor7an7 7o keep 7rack."
[[...| 19.4.1]][ (text-colour:navy)["I must say I agree"] you hear from behind.
"Ah J-Lia" Aysha clapped and moved towards you.
"Never far away, huh?" Rayna grunted, arms folded.
From above you a figure came, as if jumping over you. It was indiscernable from the gleaming sun. All you could make out was the long, draping scarf and drips of fluid that leaked onto you.
(text-colour:navy)["Why, if I did stay far away, you'd all miss me!"]
She had a short figure, her scarf seemingly twice herself behind her. Her form was as of yet difficult to make out for you, seeming to shine in the sun. Your name is NIA your hobbies are as varied and atemporal as your mood. You don't particularly have a consistent way of talking other then oscillating between audaciousness and vague shyness.
Not long in the past, you had a great long manic episode you partially forced yourself into, in which you created a whole bunch of really creative things that you don't particularly like but where excited to do.
Recently, however, you fell out of that... and are now at somewhat of a loss for what to do and how to get yourself psyked up like that again.
What do you do?
You are disconcerted and start chewing random pieces of fabric and hugging your plushies. You cope through reading a narrow variety of blog posts, esoteric punk novels and schizoanalytic philosophy. You also cope through rough, unfinished sketches. A lot of them, to be precise.
You half-rember some vague ideal you had of glitch-art last weekend and feel bad for not being able to live up to it. You also feel disappointed for not being able to do the type of pattern-art your friends can cook up in a few moments.
What dissapoints you most of all though is your inability to commit to any project successively. And your belief that your energy levels are too low.
Are you lying to yourself? You always wonder that. You know it probably isnt true, youve been present here long enough